A Better Title?

I just finished reading I Promise To Hate, Despise, and Abuse You Until Death Do Us Part, Marriage in a Narcissistic Age. Quite a title for a book, wouldn't you say?

The authors premise is that there are more narcissists, the vast majority of them men, than ever before and many of them are married. While these men may be charming during courtship and engagement, their true colors show once they are married.

Narcissists are manipulative, controlling, self centered and are incapable of having a relationship that requires mutuality. Typically, the wife, who thought she was marrying a charming, wonderful man, quickly finds out that her husband and their marriage are not at all what she thought they would be.

I am reminded that Dr. John Van Epp and others strongly encourage individuals to take their time, which to Van Epp is a minimum of two years, when considering to marry someone. Hopefully, within two years each person could see what the other is really like and possibly avoid the pitfall of marrying a narcissist.

Then, couples can truly live out their Catholic wedding vows: I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

That sounds better doesn’t it?

JP2 and our engaged couples

On this past weekend when Pope John Paul 2 was beatified  the Family Ministries Office held four marriage preparation programs that assisted over 100 engaged couples to prepare for marriage. Much of what is done in marriage preparation here in the Archdiocese of Chicago and around the rest of the world has been shaped by the teachings and writings of JP2. His Apostolic Exhortation, Familiaris Consortio, is really the foundational work that speaks to the need to properly prepare engaged couples for marriage. 

Of our four prep programs, I had the opportunity to work with 24 engaged couples at the Cardinal Meyer Center. I shared with these couples the Catholic vision of marriage, the need for support from family, friends and their faith community and the need to develop the necessary skills for successful, lifelong marriage. And the couples really bought into the day. There were excellent insights and stories shared that made it easy for me to see these couples really want to have healthy, happy, holy marriages for themselves.

As these couples continue to prepare for their weddings that will be ocurring over the next several months, I encourage them and all engaged couples to pray for the success of their marriage through the intercession of Blessed John Paul 2.